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Why We “Sometimes” (Read “Often”) Don’t Achieve Our Goals and How the Pros Do

“I’m gonna’ lose 30 lbs. this year!”, said Joey.

“I’m going to get out of debt for sure, this time.”, said Mary.

And then…


Why do we set goals regarding health and fitness, money and finance, relationships, career or business, etc. and not achieve them?

That is a question that many experts and not-so-experts have asked ourselves for centuries!

Part of the answers lie in understanding the deepest corners of the human mind and how our behaviors work.

One set of answers often offered talk about us having “different people” living inside of us.

We can also call them “different personalities.”

Some talk about us having two and others, at least three.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeTwo: “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” types of personalities which are always at odds with each other. Each having his own different agenda from the other.

Three: Our “Higher Selves”, our “Every Day Selves” and our “Lower Selves” where the first is all about making the best choices possible in our lives, the second just dealing with day-to-day life and the last making choices that hurt ourselves and/or others.

One can talk about those concepts for hours upon hours but, the basics of it all says that our behaviors (what we do) are affected by our emotions (how we feel) at any given time, which are affected by our thoughts (some coming from our conscious mind and others from our subconscious mind).

Now, when our thoughts come from our conscious mind, they’re easy to identify. The tricky ones are the ones coming from our subconscious mind because we are often not even aware that we’re processing them.

T. Harv Eker’s example of a fruit tree is a great illustration. He talks about the fruit of the tree, say… the “apples”, as being the visible and tangible results in our lives, i.e., our bank accounts, our body weight, the health of our relationships, etc. While the roots, what’s unseen, are the thoughts coming from our subconscious mind.

And, what I would add to that is the seed out of which the tree sprung from in the first place.

I would call the seed containing all the DNA with the information necessary for the tree to grow and eventually produce its fruit the conditioning each of us has gone through from the time we are born.

What did the people caring for us teach us? What about our teachers in school? Then we have what we have or have not learned as far as spirituality is concerned, society in general, the media, and on and on.

The environment in which the tree grows also plays a big role.

How fertile was the soil? What about the water supply? Then there’s the sun light, etc.

Using that illustration then, here’s what that would look like: - Thoughts, Actions, Results Tree

The seed and the environment = The programming we’ve received from childhood from the people and events that have had an influence on us for better or for worse.

Now the question for you is, based on your results in life today, what can you determine about your roots?
If your fruit is plentiful and juicy, that’s awesome!

If not, the great news is that, unlike a tree that cannot change itself, you can because you have been given free will, the ability to think and create new realities for yourself in every area of your life.

I’ll talk more about that in the future but, for now, we must all understand that we have something very, very powerful at our disposal: The power of choice.

But, how does all this relate to us achieving or not achieving goals we set for ourselves?

Well, it could sometimes be that the “Dr. Jekyll” in us sets a worthwhile goal that eventually “Mr. Hyde” sabotages.

He does it through mischievous schemes that include:

  • Instilling doubt in ourselves;
  • Reminding us of our past failures and never our victories;
  • Insisting that it’s better and easier to stay in our comfort zones sitting on the couch watching our favorite TV shows and eating potato chips;
  • Telling us that, if we succeed, our “friends” will get jealous of us and walk away from us…

…and so on.

One of the best strategies we can use is first to be aware that this is going on, and then make Mr. Hyde our friend to get his help in reaching our goals, but that’s a different post for another time.

Just like our environment influenced us when we were children with very little control of it, we can now create new environments that are conducive to us being productive, creative, persistent, consistent and driven.

For some of us that might mean finding people who have already achieved goals we aspire to achieve and befriending them. While, at the same time, limiting our association with people that dis-empower us, whenever practical.

Reading books, listening to audio programs, attending workshops or seminars, and watching educational and inspirational videos that empower us is another important and practical thing we can do.

Man with tie with bow shooting arrow 2

Our goals should be:

  1. Truly ours and not what someone else wants for us;
  2. Clearly defined;
  3. That inspire and motivate us;
  4. That are congruent or in line with who we are as individuals;
  5. Specific;
  6. Measurable;
  7. Attainable;
  8. Relevant;
  9. Time-based.

(Of course, I just had to throw in the classic “SMART” acronym there, when talking about goals, right?). :-)

I believe in that you can achieve practically anything you set your mind to. So, my encouragement is that you make your goals worthwhile and honorable.

My wish for you is that choose to become the best person you can become and bring out the best in others.

If you agree, partially agree or disagree with any of this, I’d like to hear your thoughts. Feel free to leave them below.

Until next time!



Hello, I’m a husband, father (3 boys), and a home-based business trainer with a passion for life. I enjoy connecting with other Online, Information, Affiliate, and Network Marketers; and helping those who want to get started using their interests and talents to start and grow their own part-time or full-time home-based business. Don’t be shy and make sure to connect with me.
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